Menopause and Emotional Health
The Roller Coaster Ride Of Your Life
Everyone’s menopause journey is going to be completely unique, we may all navigate similar symptoms and challenges, but its intensity, timing of arrival and how long they stay, are going to be completely different.
Our emotional health can be especially challenging. We may experience a vast array of feelings from all corners of our being, some that are new and some that are older, being dredged up from our depths to be addressed. Perimenopause will have a different emotional tone throughout until we reach menopause itself, so how might we experience them?
Emotional Health in Perimenopause
Also known as your Inner Autumn, these are the first signs of your menopause, they may arrive slowly and quietly and as early as your mid to late 30’s, building in intensity over the months and years. This is a time of endings, the slow process of saying goodbye to your youth and fertility and societal identity as what a woman “should” be, look like, behave, do etc.
Grief
Grieving can feel like tiredness, feeling withdrawn, reflective, alone, sad and lost. The energy of Autumn in five elements is a time when our energy begins to fall and go inward. Just like a tree in Autumn when it loses its energy and starts the process of hibernation once the sun dips in the either hemisphere. Leaves begin to lose their colour, dry and shed, leaving the tree bare and alone. The leaves have served their purpose for the tree, a lot like our fertility and youthful appearance, as the tree says farewell to the end of this cycle it allows for the potential of something new to grow in the Spring.
Anger
Rage, anger and irritation may arrive at this time, as we define our boundaries and create space for our true nature. Your inner world may not be matching the constant demands of the outer world in midlife. You may also notice that you are not being seen, valued or recognised, in yourself or your efforts and achievements. This can feel like the last straw, making us blow like Krakatoa!
This is all good information that change is needed. Perhaps it’s in our relationships, career or our lifestyle that needs to alter to meet and balance our internal world. Great news, the flip side of anger is activation and assertiveness to make the necessary changes that you need so you can be in the world that serves you fully. Anger can often mask grief, so getting to know what you are really feeling will help with letting go.
Let Go For A New Power
Grieving our fertility and youth is vital and brings in powerful gifts such as discernment, speaking your truth, finding your “NO”, bringing intuition and clarity, and knowing yourself even more deeply.
Get The Right Support
Grief is an emotion that’s not often public and can be overwhelming to experience, especially if there are losses that haven’t been grieved for in the past. However challenging this maybe, know there is much support out there whether it is acupuncture, coaching, attending circles or having a bout of professional talking therapy. You are not alone in your grief and having suitable support will help with the process of acceptance.
Emotional Health In Menopause
Menopause is one day, a year after your last period. Perimenopause will become more intense, leading us to our Inner Winter, a time of deep rest and hibernation if you choose. Your monthly cycle will now be irregular, weeks or months at a time, coming and going with a mix and range to the quality and length of your bleed. This may bring a different quality of emotions and symptoms.
Fear
Winter can feel exhausting, you may feel more anxiousness and fearful as you enter the unknown, you may notice your nervous system is heightened, restless and sensitive. You may cry, laugh or rage all in a space of a minute. The super powers of this transition is our ability to surrender to change whilst trusting yourself and intuition.
Surrender
Winter in nature is quiet, still and hidden, just like all plant life, nothing is growing, it can feel bleak and overwhelming at times. Is this it, is this me forever, we might ask? We have to trust the sun will rise every day and that spring will come back around. Each seed of potential needs to rest in the cold dark soil away from the light so that when the time is right, the tendrils of life can grow once again. Winter sits in the Water Element of the five elements, and sits at the bottom of the cycle of death and rebirth. Each of us were conceived in a dark watery womb unseen from light and activity until our births 9 months later. Menopause is much like this, we meet the death of our identity of the maiden whilst being reborn into the wise, wild woman. It’s vital that we surrender into the darkness and incubate for seeds of potential to grow once again when the time is right.
Trust
Trust, faith and surrender are all needed here. Are you able to let go of control and accept where you are and go with the flow? Fear will be the emotion that will arise time and again, as you step more into the unknown. You may feel yourself tighten, grasp and reach for control especially with anxiousness, doubt and fragility.
Loving Kindness
This is when we have no choice but to soothe and bathe mind, body and spirit into the warm glow of loving kindness, tend to yourself gently and with grace, find softness and ease wherever possible. Find sanctuary and nurturance that feels warm, safe and snug. Creating nests, filling the larder and building a small fire is essential, for us to enter when the snowstorm arrives.
InnerAutumn and Inner Winter
Although I have given my best to differentiate between the emotional balance of both inner autumn and winter, the truth is these differing flavours of emotional fluctuation may arrive on the same month, day or even in the same hour. Emotions are not linear; they roll through us, creating changes to our experience and growth as a person. Each emotion arrives and needs to be felt to be released. It’s when we repress or shut down our emotions become stuck and we may feel those menopausal symptoms worsen physically and emotionally.
Don’t Struggle
Like perimenopause, having a professional team of support can make all the difference, whether you are medicated or not, you are not alone and don’t need to white knuckle ride your transition. There is much support in community and connection as well as treatments, classes and circles that can hold you in the wild ride of your menopause transition.